What's A-Parent

Mom Writes Letter Addressed To Her Infertility Struggles, Citing Hate, Hope, And Forgiveness

"You told me that my body wasn’t good enough."

What's A-Parent is a series highlighting those who get real about the hardships that come with raising kids. These often untold stories help show parents they are not alone in their struggle, and are doing an amazing job.

Desiree Fortin, who blogs at The Fortin Trio, has polycystic ovary syndrome which can make it more difficult for some women to conceive. Her journey to get pregnant was one filled with challenges, grief, and frustration. However, in August 2015, Fortin gave birth to triplets: two boys and a girl. 

She recently penned a personal letter about her struggle to get pregnant and shared it with the Love What Matters Facebook page, along with some adorable photos of her family. She addressed the letter "Dear Infertility," writing directly to the cause of all of those painful days.

"I hated you. You steal dreams. You break hearts. You bring grief. You consume lives. You are the reason I couldn't get pregnant on my own. You drowned my heart in deep misery from the inability to become a mother how most women do. You told me that my body wasn't good enough," she wrote. "You may have been a huge part of my story, but you never defined me. And on this day, two years ago, I kicked your ass. I defeated you." 

She went on to describe all of the challenges Infertility brought to her life including countless tears, saddening moments on the bathroom floor, bruises, and medications. 

"You are expensive and exhausting physically, emotionally, and mentally. Infertility, you drowned my heart in disappointment and agony. And truthfully, it was pretty painful every time I heard the words 'I'm pregnant' from someone other than myself. And yet, in the midst of all of that-you brought me hope," she continued.  


While Fortin hated her infertility struggles as they were happening, she is now thankful for them because they made her stronger and taught her many lessons along the way. 

Infertility taught her to be strong, to be brave, and that she's never alone. It's also the reason she sought out in vitro fertilization and was able to get pregnant with her three children. 

"And it is because of you that I have a greater understanding of what hope really is," she wrote. "Hope does not disappoint. Hope is having faith for what seems impossible. It is trusting God when it feels hopeless. My journey to parenthood was nothing short of hope. Infertility, today, when I really reflect on those years when you were apart of my life, I can only say, Thank you."

Fortin's letter has since gone viral because it brings awareness to a common issue many families face. Her letter details how exhausting, expensive, and painful dealing with infertility can be, but it also gives hope. And Fortin wants other people struggling to know that there is some. 

"Hope is everything," she told HuffPost. "I know the journey is hard ― emotionally, physically, mentally, financially. You are strong and brave. Have grace for yourself and know that you are not alone on this walk that feels so lonely." 


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