What's A-Parent

So Many Parents Are Relating To This Mother's Struggle To Simply Ask For Help

"It's so hard to ask for help. Because you’re supposed to be 'Mommy.'"

When it comes to learning about people's lives in a big city, Humans of New York is one of the best sources.  While everyone has their own unique story to tell — whether it be about widows, single moms, or families — the similar themes connect people from all walks of life. 

The latest story bringing people together is about a mom describing her conflicting emotions when it comes to asking for help with her young daughter. 


"It's so hard to ask for help. Because you're supposed to be 'Mommy.' And you never want to say: 'I need help being Mommy,'" she explains. "I carried this person for nine months. I knew she was coming."

The mom continues saying how she didn't want to ask others to "stop their lives," especially when they weren't part of making the baby, and she thought she could handle it.

But, she eventually came to the realization that she needed to ask for help.

"I'm just one person and being 'Mama' 24/7 can make you crazy," she explains, citing how she found her relationships suffering, making her feel frustrated. 

"Instead of beginning with 'Can you help?' I'd lose my temper, and jump straight to 'Why aren't you helping?'" she concluded.

In the few days since the story was shared, it has been liked over 99K times on Facebook and received many comments from parents who understand exactly where she is coming from. Additionally, commenters are celebrating the photo showing the mother breastfeeding her daughter in public — something that is especially poignant during Breastfeeding Awareness Month in August.

"Thank you! From a non-mom - thank you for sharing the natural act of breastfeeding," stated one.

"I love that she is publicly feeding her child. There is nothing more natural. I also love that she is asking for help. It is something we struggle with as women. We give but don't allow ourselves to take. Ask for help when you need it," a Facebook user stated.

"The same way you can ask is the same way you can receive!"

A Facebook user quoted The Art of Asking; or, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Let People Help by Amanda Palmer to highlight why it can be difficult for people to open up: "From what I've seen, it isn't so much the act of asking that paralyzes us — it's what lies beneath: the fear of being vulnerable, the fear of rejection, the fear of looking needy or weak. The fear of being seen as a burdensome member of the community instead of a productive one. It points, fundamentally, to our separation from one another ... If I ask for help... I am not enough. If I ask for help ... I'm weak. It's no wonder so many of us don't bother to ask, it's too painful."

"No one can or should even try to do it alone," said a commenter. "We all need support, and help. Ask when you need it and show appreciation. Everyone benefits."

(H/T: Scary Mommy)

Cover image via  Rob Marmion I Shutterstock


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