Love, Lindsay

I Asked People If Modern Dating Trends Were A 'Trick' Or A 'Treat': Part 1

"It's definitely a trick. Ghosting is never a treat."

If you're single in 2018, you've probably seen your fair share of spooky dating trends. From ghosting to haunting to zombieing, the dating scene has become seriously scary. 

While it may seem like modern dating trends are nothing but tricks, some can be considered a treat — depending on who you ask. 

That's why, in the spirit of Halloween, I hit the streets of New York to ask people if today's dating trends were a'trick' or a 'treat.' Here's what they said: 

1. Ghosting

Definition: When you're dating someone and they suddenly stop responding to your texts, social media posts, phone calls, etc. effectively telling you they don't want to see you any more by cutting off all communication. 

Survey says ... it's a TRICK

It probably comes as no surprise that everyone I spoke to unanimously agreed that ghosting was nothing but a dirty old trick. One college student, Vienna, even said, "It's definitely a trick. Ghosting is never a treat."

2. Haunting

Definition: When someone ghosts but continues to follow you on social media, like watching your Instagram and Snapchat stories, but doesn't reinitiate direct contact.

Survey says ... it's a TRICK

While the majority of people considered haunting just as tricky as ghosting, two people did consider it a treat, under certain circumstances. "I think if they're liking your pics, that's a treat because you got extra people liking that you don't have to deal with," one man, Steven, said. "But if they're just watching, I hate when people watch and they're not being social with social media, that's a trick."

3. Zombieing

Definition: When a ghost comes back "from the dead" and texts you a few weeks, a month, or even a year after they cut off contact.

Survey says... it's a TRICK

This time, a slight majority (4 people) said this was a trick from beyond the grave. "It's a trick because it's like, honey, you've come the first time," a man named Eric told me. "We ain't playing the second time. I'm sorry, I've got better things to do."

Two people, however, considered it a treat, and one was torn between the two options, eventually deciding it was a tricky treat. "It depends what the intentions are on the second time around. It could be either way I think, depending on the situation," Vienna said. 

4. Cuffing

Definition: When you specifically date someone during the winter months because it's cold and it's not as easy to go out every weekend and meet new people to date.

Survey says ... it's a TREAT

Of those I spoke to, five people said cuffing was a real treat. "I think it's a treat because, you know, as long as everybody knows it's cuffing season, you know what time it is. Then both people know what they're getting into for the winter," Steven said. 

However, a young woman named Sydney saw it is as a trick because she'd done it to someone else. "It's shitty to do," Sydney said. "I also do that sometimes, I guess, but I'm not the best with dating so yeah, I guess I'll say trick." 

Another woman, Barrie, considered it a tricky treat and explained, "I think it could go either way. Like [it's a] treat in that, that's quality time, you're warmer, it's hibernation time. But trick if you want more, or during that time, you're building something, and then it's warm and it's, like, nope." 

With three tricks and one treat, it's clear these modern dating trends are more scary than sweet. But they're not the only ones I researched. Stay tuned for the next episode of Love, Lindsay Investigates... if you dare. 

Lindsay here, A Plus's resident relationship guru/columnist. While I may not know everything, I do know a lil something about love and our seemingly endless pursuit of it. Having written dozens of A Plus articles about dating, relationships, and sex, I'm ready and willing to investigate all of your romantically-inclined questions (submit here!) — because I've asked them myself. What I hope to bring to A Plus's readers is a sex-positive, body-positive, and most importantly, you-positive perspective on modern love. Consider Love, Lindsay your digital Cupid.


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