Love, Lindsay

I Asked Real People "What Are The Best Things About Being Single?"

All your relationship questions answered — right here, right now.

If you're single, you've probably heard family and/or friends say some variation of "Don't worry, you'll find someone soon enough."  But what's so bad about being single anyway? Instead of viewing singlehood as some sort of personal plague that will eventually end, we can celebrate it as an opportunity to embrace new experiences and learn about ourselves.

Over time, a lot of progress has been made to de-stigmatize singlehood. Still, many single people feel embarrassed admitting their relationship status simply because society favors couples. But being single isn't a problem. Our tendency to equate singlehood with loneliness is. 

After all, there are some pretty awesome things about being single that often go overlooked. To find out what some of those things are, I hit the streets of New York City to ask real people, "What are the best things about being single?"

Marcus, 27 and recently single, said, "You really get to explore who you are and really get to find out exactly what you love ... When you're in a relationship, you really have to do everything kind of based on them and kind of adapt to what they need — try to compromise at least — but now that I'm single, I just get to be who I want to be, do what I want to do." From his own experience, he learned how to get really comfortable being by himself and encouraged other singles to do the same. "A lot of people kind of get caught up in relationships and they get afraid of being lonely," he added. "... But once you really start figuring out who you are and enjoy yourself, single life is amazing." 

Kathryn, 30 and single, had her own suggestions for living the single life to the fullest. "Embrace doing your own things. Do self-dates. I love going to the movies by myself. It's something people don't do [enough]," she said. "Just don't be afraid to go and do something just because you don't have someone to do it with. ...Take yourself out for dinner. It doesn't matter if there's not someone across from you, just enjoy the food." 

Another singleton, 35-year-old Sebastian, not only echoed those feelings of freedom, but had already acted on them. "... You actually have the chance to go whenever you want to go to every place you want to go, so you don't have to take into account what others or your partner thinks of it ... I do live in the Netherlands, [but] I just actually decided last week to actually take the plane to New York and spend the week here," he said. "You have to adjust to it [being single], but once you do, the world opens up to you."

Even those in relationships were quick to recall some of the perks they experienced when they were single.

Christina, 27, is currently in a relationship, but said, "There's lot of positive things about being single — really discovering who you are. I really don't think you can have a really meaningful relationship without figuring out who you are as an individual. That was something I had to go through and kind of learn who I was before I could open up my heart to somebody else." 

Star, 31 and also in a relationship, enjoyed being single because it was one of the few times in her life when she could truly put herself first. "When you're single, you definitely just kind of get to think about yourself. I guess it's like that moment to be selfish a bit," she said. "... Being single can get a bad rap, but it's a really good time to take care of your goals — financial goals, education goals, any kind of goals that you have... so that way, when you do get into a relationship, you are a whole and complete person."

So instead of waiting for singlehood to end, we should view it as an opportunity to begin — to try new things, achieve our goals, and become the best versions of ourselves. 

Lindsay here, A Plus's resident relationship guru/columnist. While I may not know everything, I do know a lil something about love and our seemingly endless pursuit of it. Having written dozens of A Plus articles about dating, relationships, and sex, I'm ready and willing to investigate all of your romantically-inclined questions (submit here!) — because I've asked them myself. What I hope to bring to A Plus's readers is a sex-positive, body-positive, and most importantly, you-positive perspective on modern love. Consider Love, Lindsay your digital Cupid.


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