What Men Want In Bed — And Why We Need To Talk About It

The science is out.

When it comes to sex, women and men are very, very different.

Their reasons for attraction, the times of day they might be interested in sex and even colors that catch their attention are different for both genders. So what are heterosexual men looking for? And what makes them interested in sex with a woman? We dug into the science to give you the best answers possible. 


1. When do men want "it"?

You know that old saying, "timing is everything"? Well, when it comes to sex, it seems there might be some major issues.

A survey by adult store Lovehoney found that men are most interested in sex between 6 a.m. and 9 a.m, while women reach a similar state of lust between 11 p.m. and 2 a.m. The survey was conducted with 2,300 adults, and 16 percent of the men responded that "they regularly want sex before falling asleep" while only 11 percent of women "responded that they felt most passionate early in the morning."

2. Men are worried about their performance.

If you're starting a new relationship with a man you like, it's probably a safe bet to try and make him feel as comfortable and confident as possible.

According to an Esquire survey, "when asked what their biggest anxiety is when having sex with someone for the first time, men are more than four times as likely to say they are concerned with their sexual performance than with contracting HIV."  

3. Though they worry about their performance, it's true men want quantity over quality.

An Irish Times survey that evaluated more than 12,000 people found that men are interested in quantity of sex while women are interested in quality of sex. "Straight men tend to find the quality of sex better than their female partners do," sexologist Emily Power Smith said. "Quantity tends to be more their concern."

4. Some men want a particular hip ratio, and apparently, long hair.

In a Business Insider video, Dr. Midge Wilson was from DePaul University was consulted about her "reproductive fitness assessment." Two important features of that fitness assessment include a larger hip to waist ratio, which apparently is most attractive to men at 7:10. That ratio is supposed to give off the impression that the woman would be a healthy carrier of children.

Some German scientists have also suggested that "long lustrous healthy hair" promotes health and fertility, and makes men more interested. 

5. Men's and women think differently about what's appropriate when it comes to sex.

A recent Gallup poll showed that when it comes to sex, men and women's morals are different. The following results had the greatest gender disparity: 

People were asked to describe the following issues as "morally acceptable" or "morally wrong."

45 percent of men found pornography morally acceptable while only 25 percent of women did.

12 percent of men found married people having an affair morally acceptable while only 5 percent of women did. 

20 percent of men found polygamy morally acceptable while only 13 percent of women did. 

66 percent of women found gay or lesbian relations morally acceptable while only 59 percent of men did.

75 percent of women found divorce morally acceptable while only 67 percent of men did. 

The Gallup poll makes one thing perfectly clear: when it comes to men and women, we're different. And that can be a great thing, but it can also present challenges. 

Let these numbers be a reminder that it's always important to communicate honestly with your partner, and to avoid making assumptions about what they want or need.


Subscribe to our newsletter and get the latest news and exclusive updates.