Oprah And Amy Schumer Open Up About What It's Like To Be In An Abusive Relationship

"I was always [like], I'll never be that woman. I'm not that kind of woman."

During her interview for Oprah's SuperSoul Conversations, actress and comedian Amy Schumer opened about what it was like to be in an abusive relationship in her early 20s. She explained that she "got hurt by accident a lot." She would try to justify her ex-boyfriend's behavior to herself by believing that he didn't mean to hurt her

"That happened to me in my 20s," Oprah said. "He'd slam the door on my hand ... and then one day I fell in front of the mirror in the hallway and I saw myself and I started to cry for this woman that I had allowed myself [to become]." 


Amy had a similar "out of body" experience when she finally realized she was in a physically abusive relationship and needed to leave. "I can picture being thrown on the hood of a car like it was an hour ago," she said. "And running from him. Carrying my shoes and running from him. Running into backyards, trying to get away from him because I was afraid for my life. It's so out of body. You're like, 'I'm not this woman. Who's this woman? This can't be me.' " 

Amy and Oprah admit they both had an idea in their head about what someone who gets abused "looks like." But what they learned is that abuse can happen to anyone. 

"I was always [like], I'll never be that woman," Oprah said. "I'm not that kind of woman."

"And then you realize there is no kind of woman. It happens to all women. It's not who we picture. I think I had a really distinct picture of what I thought an abused woman looked like," Amy said. "Really it's CEOs and it's powerful, brilliant women." 

Any woman regardless of her background, social status, income level, or experience, can become victims of emotional or physical abuse. And, it can happen to men, too. 

One in 4 women and 1 in 7 men in the United States have experienced severe physical violence by an intimate partner in their lifetime, according to the National Domestic Violence Hotline. "Nearly half of all women and men in the United States have experienced psychological aggression by an intimate partner in their lifetime."

Amy explained her situation further saying that her ex-boyfriend had convinced her that she wasn't lovable so she better work it out with him. She found herself feeling bad for him when he would feel upset for physically hurting her. "You don't choose to fall in love with someone who hurts you," she said. "And you can be in love with someone who hurts you." 

But one day, she realized she was being physically and emotionally abused. It wasn't about her, it was about him. 

"It hit me like a ton of bricks one day: 'Oh, I'm not this awful, ugly, stupid person he's trying to make me feel like I am. He's saying that because he's afraid of losing me.' It just occurred to me one day," Amy said. She found the strength and courage to leave. 

"The lesson is love isn't supposed to hurt," Oprah said. 

If you, or someone you know, needs help, visit The National Domestic Violence Hotline and LoveIsrespect for information, resources, and 24/7 live support.


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