Nicole Kidman Reveals The Surprising Rule That Keeps Her Marriage To Keith Urban Strong

“That is so not our relationship.”

Many of us wonder what the secret to a long and happy marriage is, but we don't often turn to Hollywood couples for advice. After all, Hollywood marriages aren't typically known for their longevity. But, when you consider that actress Nicole Kidman and country singer Keith Urban recently celebrated their 12th wedding anniversary, it's obvious the duo must know something we don't. Yet, while the secret to their happiness has nothing to do with fame or fortune, it might still be hard for some couples to achieve. 

As Kidman told Parade, she and Urban never text each other.

"That is so not our relationship, which is interesting right? We call. We've done this since the very beginning," she explained. "The reason it started at the beginning was because I didn't know how to text and it just kind of worked for us. So now we don't. We just do voice to voice or skin to skin, as we always say."

"We talk all the time and we FaceTime but we just don't text because I feel like texting can be misrepresentative at times," Kidman added. "And I've had the thing where I reread texts and I'm like, "What does that mean?" and then read it to somebody and go "Can you interpret that?" I don't want that between my lover and I."

In fact, Kidman credits her tendency to ignore her phone for her perpetually youthful appearance, as well. While the Academy Award-winner enjoys meditating and running, she also refuses to embrace society's "always on" culture.

"I try not to be on the phone and texting. I'm a terrible texter. And I try to not be really prompt with returning texts because then you get used to that kind of person," she said, indicating that she purposely makes people wait for her response. "I'm really responsible as a person so I have to just go, "No. It's OK not to be completely available all of the time." And that's a really big lesson for someone who wants to be responsible," she added.


Kidman and Urban's disregard for texting also supports the true crux of their successful marriage, as the secret to open, honest communication means never having any secrets in the first place.

"We never tell anybody any advice about their relationship or think that we have a secret," Kidman said. "We just approach it with humility and hope and just really love hanging out. I mean it's that simple. We love spending time together. We have a lot of fun together and we just choose each other. If there is one person I can hang out with, it's him and the girls and that's it. That's so much enough for me."

"We'll get on planes and fly overnight rather than have a night apart," she added. "We will do anything to make it work. Jetlag is always a challenge though! That's why I think it's so important to take time to exercise and take care of yourself because a lot of times I'm functioning on too little sleep and I'm trying to do it all, which I think is a problem for a lot of women – trying to be there and do everything for everybody at the cost and the expense of my own health and emotional health. And so I'm always trying to balance that."

Yet, while Kidman and Urban have clearly developed an undeniable rhythm, it'll be hard for many couples to comprehend the notion of not texting one another. But just remember — Kidman and Urban replaced thumbing through the alphabet with skin-to-skin contact, so maybe it's time for more couples to trade the written word for body language? It's just an idea.

Cover image via Joe Seer / Shutterstock

(H/T: Parade)


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