Mom Opens Up About The Tough Transition Military Families Face Post-Deployment

"We will survive, wading through the muck, coming out on the other side. We always have. Always do."

Valli Vida Gideons is a self-described military wife and mom who writes about her experiences with military life, raising kids, and her husband's service in the Marines on her My Battle Call Facebook page. In a post from June 2, the blogger candidly shared her post-deployment story.

"If you rip the Band-Aid off, you will find it is still raw underneath," she begins her post. It might be emotional to discuss, but Vida Gideons speaks about all sides of the post-deployment experience. 

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"Even though I know how the game is played, being on the roster for over two decades, I am left feeling in shock and awe by it every all. Every. Time." she admits. "Because the very nature of IT is hard and humbling. You try to forget. And to admit this seems sacrilegious; shouldn't everyone simply feel grateful to have the boots back on the ground, after all? But the truth is, that fact is not the whole story. It is not the reality of how this game plays out."

When her spouse returns home, she admits that there is no swift transition. She has been at home "being all things to everyone" while he has been deployed "being everything to everyone."

"Then, in the blink of an eye, we are back under one roof and the shift happens instantaneously. Only, it doesn't."

Vida Gideons says it takes forgiveness, grace, patience, and time. And it's something that every member of the family must go through. "The home team had to march on, and now we have to figure out how to include the entire unit again," she states.

She calls out misconceptions about military families, and how the desire to have a "Hollywood ending" can make things more difficult, and even cause resentment. 

"We pay the price for months to come," she writes. "The missed moments you can't get back lead to the resentment, hitting like a MACK truck. Then we find ourselves fighting battles about the dishes in the sink. His version. And mine."

It's all part of the transition and as time goes on, they move through it.

"All we can do is move through it. Own it. Peel back the veil of shame and accept it was (and still is) damn hard," she writes. 

Vida Gideons clarifies that the process might be difficult, but she is still happy to have her husband back and she is proud of him for serving. But, she knows the experience has impacted them.

"Pieces of us are broken and need to be glued back together. Bit by bit. The children have to trust this is not a temporary scenario. Believe he is here. To stay. I have to count on him. Again. Give up control, release the tight grip I have kept to survive."

"We will survive, wading through the muck, coming out on the other side. We always have. Always do."

She explains this was part of the promise they made to each other on their wedding day. It might not always be easy and she will cry thinking of loneliness and missed moments but she must be strong and hold it together. And she must deal with the transition.


She concludes, "It's all part of it."

Other Facebook users were touched by Vida Gideons's honest, emotional portrayal of the post-deployment transition. Some commented with their own experiences, others simply thanks her for sharing. 

(H/T: Popsugar)

Cover image via  FrameStockFootages I Shutterstock

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