A Mom Whose Son Just Came Out Called A Gay Bar For Advice. The Bartender Nailed It.

"You should definitely let him know that you love and accept him."

Parents want the best for their children, and, for their sake, they try their darndest to be the best parent that they can be. It's this near-universal truth that likely led why a well-meaning mom phoned a popular gay-friendly bar called Sipps in Gulfport, Mississippi, after her son told her he is gay.

According to bartender Kara Coley, who took the advice-seeking mom's phone call and posted a transcript of their chat on Facebook, the "random" conversation really got going after the woman (whom Coley did not know) asked her if she is gay. When Coley confirmed that she is, the mom posed a key question — "What was the one thing you wanted from your parents when you a came out?"

Sensing Coley's confusion, the woman on the other end of the line then added, "My son just came out to me and I don't want to say anything that may mess him up in the head."


While it can be awkward to give such intimate advice to a complete stranger, Coley first asked the mother if she accepted her son's sexual orientation. When the mother confirmed she did, in fact, accept it, Coley kept the advice short and sweet  — "You should definitely let him know that you love and accept him," she offered. "I think everything will be ok from there!"

As Coley stated at the end of her Facebook post, even after "17 years of bartending in gay bars on the coast," this conversation was a "first" for her. Still, despite the unusual nature of her discussion with this unknown mother, she was more than happy to field the call.

"I have had a few people that I grew up with ask advice when they found out their child or child's friend was gay, but never as random as this phone call," Coley explained to HuffPost. "I wish more people were eager to just ask questions. That is how you learn!"

WXXV 25 reports Coley still doesn't know the identity of the woman who called, but what's most important is the advice she was able to offer. The simple pointers Coley gave to this curious mom could make a world of difference. Per a 2015 report from the Pew Research Center, most gay men and lesbians who told their parents about their sexual orientation said their relationship with that parent either grew stronger afterward or stayed the same, while very few said their relationship weakened.

In other words, thanks to a little help from Coley, this woman has the power to strengthen her relationship with her son during a time when he is going to need as much love and support as he can get.


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