Here's Why This Mother Is Proud Of Her 6-Year-Old For Telling Her 'No'

"For all of you parents who are dealing with your own brand of girl warriors, we are in this together."

When it comes to our relationships, careers, and beyond, many of us may have a problem saying "no." For example, if a friend wants to spend time together, we may worry that saying "no" will hurt their feelings. If a co-worker asks for a helping hand, we may fear that saying "no" will make us seem rude or lazy. 

But in a recent post from Joelle Wisler on Facebook, the mother explains that her 6-year-old daughter has no problem saying "no" — and making direct eye contact while she's doing it. But for Wisler, this is, in fact, a beautiful thing. 


Wisler begins by saying that her daughter will say "no" for an array of reasons, including not wanting to clean her room or brush her hair. 

"She doesn't always get her way, obviously. She's not rude. She always says, 'please,' and 'thank you,' at the appropriate times. She's loving. She's kind-hearted. She's just very comfortable with saying no. To me. To anyone."

In comparison, Wisler says she struggles with saying "no." 

"I'm much older than her, and I still have trouble telling people no, let alone looking them in the eyes and saying it. She's 6. Her 'no's' have been the most frustrating part of parenting for me so far. That's because I'm a rule-follower, an obliger, someone who doesn't want to make waves."

Wisler writes that she's used to brushing things off or apologizing for other's faults, her daughter is the opposite. 

"And maybe I'm jealous. Jealous that she's so SURE of herself. Of her place and the validity of her opinions. So sure of her no."

Through all of this, Wisler says there is a part of her that is proud of her daughter's strong-will. 

"She is strong and opinionated and loud and talks too much. She is, at all costs, a self-promoter. She is also a fierce cuddler, an unrestrained artist, and, when she loves you, she loves you with all of her being."

Looking forward, Wisler believes that her daughter's ability to say "no" will allow her to take on the world "unafraid." It may cost her a job, and perhaps she won't "'talk like a lady,'" but she won't tolerate anyone telling her what to do. 

"But she will also create stuff that could never come from a woman who is afraid. She will knock down walls and ceilings and possibly entire buildings with the force of her will. She will change the world because she is not scared to say no to you. And I truly fear for the man who ever tells her to smile."

Wisler concludes that she hopes that her daughter continues to say "no" as life goes on. And she also has an important message to parents:

"For all of you parents who are dealing with your own brand of girl warriors, we are in this together. If we can survive their childhoods, the future will be, indeed, female.”

Of course, everyone parents differently, and Wisler's message has stirred up a lot of constructive conversation. But perhaps for those struggling to find the good in the power of "no," this will provide some perspective.

(H/T: Love What Matters

Cover image via  Maria Symchych I Shutterstock


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