5 Ways To Fall In Love With Your Husband All Over Again

"It's comfortable when two people know absolutely everything about each other, but it's not a recipe for romance."

Popular culture often portrays marriage as the happy ending to every fairy tale. But that's hardly the case. In fact, many spouses eventually find themselves contemplating how to fall in love with one's husband again. While it might seem easy to fall in love with someone during the dating stages of the relationship, maintaining that love as the pressures of sustaining a household mount can prove difficult. People fall in love every day, but falling in love with your husband again requires both spouses to approach marriage as an equal partnership and put forth equal effort. If you're looking for ways to fall in love with your husband again, here are five things you can do together to repair your relationship:


1. Remember that love requires hard work.

Despite the fact that you're no longer in the "courting" stage of your relationship, keeping your marriage functional and successful requires constant maintenance.

On Psychology Today, Linda and Charlie Bloom write: "As we found out in researching our book, Secrets of Great Marriages, while most couples have experienced varying degrees of difficulty in their relationships, after they make it "over the hump," the downward pull of gravity diminishes greatly and the amount of effort and energy required to sustain and nurture the relationship is greatly reduced. Further, the experience of nurturing the relationship no longer feels like effort or work, but literally becomes a labor of love that feels more like a gift, a joyful opportunity for which we feel grateful and blessed."

2. Touch (and talk!) to each other regularly.

Even though you live in the same house, the figurative distance between you and your husband can become an insurmountable chasm if you both fail to bridge that gap. By touching — and talking — to one another regularly, you might just begin to remember what made you fall in love in the first place.

"The science of touch suggests that a pat on the back, a squeeze of the hand, a hug or an arm around the shoulder can save a so-so marriage," Sonja Lyubomirsky, Ph.D., a professor of psychology at the University of California, Riverside told HuffPost. "Introducing more (nonsexual) touching and affection on a daily basis will go a long way in rekindling the warmth and tenderness."

3. Maintain an underlying mystery.

As Harriet Lerner, Ph.D. writes for Psychology Today, couples can rekindle their romance by establishing a sense of mystery that'll keep the interest alive.

"It's comfortable when two people know absolutely everything about each other, but it's not a recipe for romance," she explains. "Develop a new passion outside the relationship. Get your blip off his radar screen — not in a cold way, but in an "I have my own separate life" way. The more passion you have for life outside the relationship, the more opportunity to rediscover love within it."

4. Embrace the thrill of new experiences.

Fritz Galette, Ph.D., a family therapist who hosts the weekly "Ask Dr. Fritz" on New York City's WWRL, advises couples that are stuck in a rut to break from the norm and try something new. 

"Doing something new and different together, like taking tennis lessons — which is what my wife and I did recently — enhances your sense of intimacy," he told HuffPost.

From simple outings, such as eating at new restaurants, to more extravagant adventures, such as an excursion abroad, these shared experiences allow you to renew your bond and revive your attraction.

5. Let go of any lingering resentments.

"One common cause of the spark wearing off is that we build up resentments," life coach and relationship specialist Ellen Hartson told Redbook. "Expecting your partner to always be sexy, funny, reasonable, sensible, and accommodating is a set-up for bad feelings. To get the excitement back, first you have to get over your resentments and strive for acceptance."

Instead of holding your feelings in and allowing them to bubble under the surface, set aside some time to talk with your husband. Just as you have concerns, so must he. But, by establishing an open, honest environment, you can both air your grievances and work through your problems in an understanding, constructive manner. If you don't engage in dialogue, you will surely drift apart, causing an irreparable rift. Communication, however, remains essential for couples who wish to stay afloat.

Cover image via Shutterstock


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