How To Date A Woman, According To Women

Try out these tried and true tips on your next first date.

Going on a first date is no small, or easy, task. Especially when it comes to figuring out how to date a woman, it's best to ask the experts: women


As part of their 2018 Singles in America survey, asked women about their preferences regarding first dates. This survey wasn't directed exclusively at heterosexual women, so anyone interested in dating a woman — regardless of sexual orientation or gender identity — can apply these tried and true tips to their romantic life. 

1. Make her feel comfortable.

In a perfect world, this would go without saying. However, in today's world, it's not all that surprising that the vast majority of women Match surveyed (79 percent) felt the need to say they wanted to feel "comfortable" on a first date. While most people get nervous before a first date, women have the added anxiety of worrying about their physical safety. 

You can help make a woman feel comfortable by letting her decide where to meet and listening to her verbal and non-verbal intimacy cues (more on that in a second). Besides feeling comfortable, first and foremost, women also want to feel happy (35 percent) and liked (27 percent) on a first date. 

2. Respect her boundaries.

Again, this should go without saying, but when learning how to date a woman, you can never hear an important lesson too many times. Since you're already doing your best to make your date feel comfortable, one of the easiest and most effective ways to do that is to respect her personal boundaries. According to Match, 82 percent of women said hugging is "OK," compared to 71 percent who said a kiss on the cheek is "acceptable." 

While the survey didn't mention anything about a kiss on the lips, if you really hit it off and feel like you've received some non-verbal cues that she's open to it — like touching your arm — give it a try. When in doubt, just ask! While that might feel awkward, she'll appreciate you asking for consent. 

3. Have a good conversation.

You know what they say, it takes two to tango — and have a good first date conversation. So it's not totally up to you to make this happen, but just keep in mind that a majority of women (55 percent) believe good conversation is key to a good first date. Additionally, many women want to share a sense of humor (48 percent of survey respondents) and to have an interesting companion (26 percent), both of which begin with a good first date conversation.

While there are no hard and fast rules as to what qualifies as "good" conversation, Match's survey results laid out some general guidelines for appropriate first date topics. For example, an overwhelming majority of women would rather not hear about your past relationships (92 percent), your wealth (86 percent), politics (82 percent), your car (75 percent), and natural disasters (72 percent) on a first date. Instead, keep the conversation light and fun with more interesting topics like your hobbies (87 percent), your travels (84 percent), and your career (74 percent).

4. Keep your phone in your pocket.

According to Match, checking your phone regularly is the number one turn-off for women. To put this into perspective, only 10 percent of women surveyed thought this was appropriate on a first date. This is nothing new, as a 2013 Mashable survey of both genders also found that, among single people, only 12 percent thought it was OK to check a phone anytime during a date. Of course, this etiquette rule isn't totally necessary when your date has left to go to the bathroom. Thirty-seven percent of single people said it's OK to take a peek at your screen then. 

Quick pro tip: If you're on any dating apps — especially if you met her on an app — turn off your push notifications for the evening. Nothing ruins the mood quicker than spotting a Tinder message, and it could even affect your chances at scoring a second date. 

5. Be mindful of how much — and how — you order.

While only two percent of women think good food and drinks are essential for a great first date, it is the most common activity for first dates. That's also why women have some pretty clear opinions on how much you should consume and how to go about it. More than 80 percent of Match's women respondents think it's "not appropriate" to have more than two drinks on a first date, and 68 percent are "not impressed" by a date ordering food for them. 

Additionally, over half of women (58 percent) don't like being asked for a bite of their food/drink. It's also important to note that 38 percent of women find being rude to the server a turn-off, which makes sense as it often indicates how the person will treat them. 

Hopefully, all these tips from women will help you figure out how to date women. Which one will you use first on your next first date? 

Cover image via Ann Haritonenko / Shutterstock.


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