This Dad's 'X-Plan' Helps His Kids Escape Uncomfortable Situations Where They Feel Peer Pressured

"I promise it might not only save them, but it will go a long way in building trust between you and your kid."

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In a post uploaded to his blog page, one father walks readers through a genius plan that could help kids get out of uncomfortable situations, or even save their lives.

The father, Bert Fulks, explains that through working with teenagers going through addiction recovery, he's learned that oftentimes, children don't always feel they can voice their own discomfort — particularly when there is peer pressure involved. 

" 'Peer pressure' was a frivolous term for an often silent, but very real thing; and I certainly couldn't call my parents and ask them to rescue me," Fulks writes, reflecting on his own teenage experiences.

So Fulks decided to do something about it; his family now uses the "X-Plan," a simple tool his children can use whenever necessary.

"Here's how it works:

Let's say that my youngest, Danny, gets dropped off at a party.  If anything about the situation makes him uncomfortable, all he has to do is text the letter "X" to any of us (his mother, me, his older brother or sister).  The one who receives the text has a very basic script to follow.  Within a few minutes, they call Danny's phone.  When he answers, the conversation goes like this:


"Danny, something's come up and I have to come get you right now."

"What happened?"

"I'll tell you when I get there.  Be ready to leave in five minutes.  I'm on my way."

At that point, Danny tells his friends that something's happened at home, someone is coming to get him, and he has to leave ... However, there's one critical component to the X-plan:  Once he's been extracted from the trenches, Danny knows that he can tell us as much or as little as he wants … but it's completely up to him.  The X-plan comes with the agreement that we will pass no judgments and ask no questions (even if he is 10 miles away from where he's supposed to be).  This can be a hard thing for some parents (admit it, some of us are complete control-freaks); but I promise it might not only save them, but it will go a long way in building trust between you and your kid."


Shutterstock / asife

Fulks also notes one caveat: If "Danny knows if someone is in danger, he has a moral obligation to speak up for their protection, no matter what it may cost him personally."

Of course, everyone has different parenting techniques, and there are some mixed reviews regarding Fulks's plan. This, however, only results in further, meaningful conversation between readers. 

For example, commenters are voicing concern that the child would have to lie to their friends the next day when asked follow-up questions about the family "situation." 

"It would be perfectly OK for the kid to say to his friends, 'It was family drama.' or 'Just some personal stuff.' There are ways to be vague and honest at the same time," Deb replies in the thread. "It's also perfectly OK to not give out personal details. Teenagers should feel comfortable setting boundaries with peers."

It's important to remember that everyone has different parenting techniques and this is just one father's way to help children who may not feel comfortable speaking up to their peers yet. While effective dialogue skills may come eventually, in the meantime, sometimes relying on family as a rescue and support is a great alternative. 

Check out the full blog post here.

Watch Project Dad, a television series about fatherhood and family, below:

(H/T: PopSugar)


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