He Taught His Child About Consent When She Changed Her Mind About Piercing Her Ears

"Her voice has been heard. Her choice has been honored."

When it comes to consent, it's never too late to change your mind and rescind. So when Adam Baker's 8-year-old daughter decided to get her ears pierced, but had a change of heart at the last minute, he took it as an opportunity to teach her a lesson about consent.  

"In the month leading up to her eighth birthday, Adelaide had become increasingly excited and focused upon having her ears pierced for her birthday," Baker told Babble. "She frequently asked for details about the process, and we spent a lot of time watching YouTube videos of 8-year-olds getting their ears pierced." 


When it finally came time to get her ears pierced, however, Adelaide changed her mind.

In a Facebook post recounting the event, Baker explained that the young girl began to become more and more nervous at the appointment as the piercer explained what was going to happen.

"After picking out her earrings, getting into the chair, and as her ears were being prepped, her smile vanished," he recalled. "Instead of excitement, there was fear. Tearful, she apologized and said, 'I don't want to do it.'"

Baker used the moment as an opportunity to teach her an important lesson about consent.

"But, beloved, there is no apology necessary. You alone get to determine what anyone else does to your body," he wrote.

She might not have gotten her ears pierced, but the birthday girl was left with something greater. Baker explained. "There's a reason that she kept saying, again and again, 'Thank you for understanding.'"

"Her voice has been heard. Her choice has been honored. Her body is her own, and she knows that those who love her will respect her choices."

The dad from Wilmington, N.C. concluded by wishing his daughter a happy birthday and telling readers "it's never too early to begin emphasizing these realities and empowering these expectations."

Adam is an Associate Pastor at Wesley Memorial United Methodist Church and has experience working as a clinical counselor, according to CafeMom. He has worked with at-risk youth and victims of sexual abuse and wanted to seize the moment to bring up the important issue of consent.

Facebook users are saluting Baker for the way he handled the situation. Others are bringing up how they are teaching their young children about the importance of consent.

Many are becoming emotional at hearing the story and commending Adelaide for her actions.

In the comments, Baker shared Adelaide "did choose to return afterward and calmly sit through having both ears pierced." She said, "It didn't even hurt! And I'm so glad that I did it!" 

He concluded, "Adelaide's body is her own, and she's been regularly cleaning and tending her piercings under our supervision since. She's healthy and well, and thinks that people liking and sharing this post is a pretty cool thing."


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