Mom Claps Back At Stranger Who Told Her She 'Has Her Hands Full With All Those Kids'

"My children are blessings. They aren't perfectly modeled citizens because, well, they're children."

If there's one thing most of us can agree on, it's that unsolicited comments and advice is not appreciated. While frustrating and annoying, however, such comments can spark important discussions online. 

For example, this dad who was called his wife's "third child," and took to Facebook to share why he's tired of being underestimated as a father. Or this nurse who was told by a cashier she was unfit for her profession because of her hair color, and reminded everyone that the way she looks has never prevented her from providing life-saving treatment. 

Last month, one Kentucky mom was subjected to one of these unwelcome comments while out with her kids. Courtney Lester shared a photo of herself with her three children on Facebook with a response addressed to "the stranger in Walmart who said, 'I feel sorry for you, you have your hands full with all those kids.' " 


"First off, my hands were empty as you can see in the photo (had to point that out)," she wrote. "What you can't tell is that I lost two babies before being blessed with my last two, so if you want to feel sorry for me, there's the only reason why you should. My children are blessings." 

Lester went on to explain that sometimes her kids aren't "perfectly modeled citizens," but that's perfectly OK because, well, they're children. "Sometimes they're loud, sometimes they misbehave, and sometimes they have complete meltdowns. However, you didn't even see that side of them. What you saw was a young couple with a 4-year-old singing a song, a 2-year-old sitting quietly in the buggy, and a newborn sleeping in his baby carrier," she wrote. "If that is your definition of having your hands full, I feel sorry for YOU."

Lester, just like all other moms, admits that she sometimes has busy days when she can't wait to for her head to finally hit the pillow, but she's always thankful for all of her kids. 

"My children keep me on my toes and one of them always needs something, but I have never viewed them as an inconvenience or a reason for someone to 'feel sorry' for me. Even on days when they won't listen, have meltdowns, and when it seems like nothing I do is good enough, I have never felt sorry for myself, and I don't expect others to either. If having three kids automatically makes my hands full, so be it ... But please, never feel sorry for me because my heart is more full than my hands could ever be." 

Lester's post has since gone viral with over 23,000 likes and nearly 13,000 shares on Lester's Facebook page. She recently updated the post to clarify a few things. 

"I just want to clarify that the 'hands full' comment isn't exactly what bothered me. It was the fact that someone went out of their way to say they felt sorry for me BECAUSE of my children, in front of my children," she said. 

She also wants people to know that she wouldn't have responded this way if she thought the comment was meant with good intentions. 

"I didn't really respond with much in person because it took me off guard and bothered me the more I thought about it. If I thought the man was saying it to be nice, start a conversation, or to 'connect' with me, I promise I wouldn't have posted this. My husband was with me and agreed that it was quite rude and uncalled for," she wrote. "We hear the hands full comment quite a bit and you can definitely tell when it's said with ill intent and when it's not. Sometimes, I do think people mean no harm by saying the hands full comment (not that it's anyone's business how 'full' your hands are), but nobody should tell a parent they feel sorry for them in a judgmental way or judge another parent/family, period. The size of someone's family is absolutely none of anyone's business as long as their children are happy, loved, and cared for. If you feel like you should make a comment to a family or a parent, try something uplifting instead. I promise, that would be much more appreciated."

Hopefully, Lester's post will bring comfort to other parents who have heard similar comments. Perhaps, it'll even prevent a few strangers from making an ignorant comment. 


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