This Woman's T-Shirt Is Helping Break Taboos About Speaking Openly About Miscarriages

"I was proud of her for wearing it."

Miscarriages happen to approximately 10 to 25 percent of all clinically recognized pregnant woman, yet they are still not discussed as openly as they should be. In fact, some even consider the topic to be taboo. 

While there are a range of reasons people may be hesitant to openly talk about a miscarriage —  feeling ashamed, feeling like a failure, not wanting to burden others — keeping silent perpetuates the idea that miscarriages should not be talked about and this keeps us in the dark about how common they really are. Beyond that, no one should have to deal with that kind of pain alone. 


One mom is helping to break the silence with a simple T-shirt.

Mom-to-be Autumn Tolliver Safley wore a T-shirt with a rainbow heart with the words "You're looking at a rainbow" over her growing baby bump to her local craft store. Fellow shopper Courtney Mixon understood that Safley was carrying a "rainbow baby," which meant that she had conceived after a miscarriage, or other form of infant loss. 

Having experienced a miscarriage of her own, Mixon approached Safley to discuss the T-shirt and miscarriages. She then wrote about the encounter on Facebook to further the discussion. 

Alright [sic] standing in line at NLR Hobby Lobby, I see this rainbow heart printed on her belly. I automatically knew what it meant. She had suffered a miscarriage and now she was carrying a beautiful rainbow baby. As she passed me I had to speak up. I said I love your shirt! She replied that her husband was hesitant for her to wear it (because people wouldn't know what it meant). I then told her it's so taboo to talk about miscarriages and I was proud of her for wearing it. I told her my story and she told me hers. We hugged and said we would keep each other in our prayers! Me for her baby's continuing good health and her for me to conceive. I asked to take a pic and realized I left my phone in the car. She handed me her phone and sent that picture to me. She's such a beautiful woman and mommy!!! A complete stranger....Thank you Autumn for making me and my husband's day! Please share this so maybe she can see how much she touched our hearts...

Since Mixon wrote the post on September 10, it has been shared over 34,000 times. Some users are opening up about their struggles to conceive and their miscarriages. And Safley also commented on the Facebook post. 

She wrote, "So sweet of you. I barely made it to the car before losing it. Said many special prayers for you today! Meeting you blessed me as well. I have no doubt that you and your husband will be blessed with another little one. We lost two before getting this little man to stick around! I know he's going to be worth the wait and the trials."

"I've prayed hard that our struggles can be my testimony and uplift other struggling mothers out there. It's not our place to understand 'why' but have faith and trust that God has a way bigger plan in mind for us!"

"I'm thankful we met so I can be fervently praying for you! And to clarify, my husband is all about me sharing our testimony, he just thought no one would know what my shirt meant and might derive other twisted meanings from it. Rainbow babies are the promise after a storm ... and that's exactly what our little Jas is."

Some parents have gotten tattoos to commemorate miscarriages and open up a dialogue about them, and Safley's T-shirt is another version of that. Anything that can help break the taboo subject of miscarriages is important which is why it is so wonderful that Mixon's post has gone viral.


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