The Definitive Guide to the Brooklyn Hipster

The Brooklyn hipster. A creature that for many of us has become synonymous with Brooklyn itself.

1. Williamsburg

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Also known as the early adopters of the idea, they're now the créme de la crop of all hipsters. With the biggest trust funds and a kickstarter that proves to their parents that they're using their time and money wisely, Billyburg hipsters actually appear to want to become somewhat successful in life. But sitting at the top of the food chain of hipsterdom has its perks a stained mattress and a MacBook Pro, so it may be long in the future before they trade their fixie for a suit. 

They are the prime reason behind campaigns like Get The Fuck Outta Brooklyn.

4. Bushwick

These guys are the "me too" hipsters who didn't act fast enough to be in Williamsburg. They were reduced to gentrifying the warehouse areas of Bushwick. What they lack in originality though, they make up with sheer effort. For every microbrew and cult classic movie a Williamsburg hipster enjoys, his smaller Bushwick brother will counter with plaid pants and a taxidermy class.

7. Bed Stuy

Unlike other hipsters who may be coasting along off of familial riches, Bed Stuy hipsters are legitimately poor. Their choice to settle in a notoriously turbulent (Do The Right Thing may be a good flick for a quick history lesson) speaks to their necessity to save money for important things in life like organic coffee beans and yoga memberships. Of the lot, Bed Stuy hipsters may be the most relatable and easiest to jive with if you aren't one yourself.

10. Flatbush

The Bush is a peculiar area that has maintained some of its character despite of an influx of new faces. While some residents opt for the fair trade variety, others are more than happy with street meat coming from a vendor with harsher living conditions than free-range chickens. Because the hipness of this area is still low, young hipsters are seldom found here. Instead, a more refined hipster in his 30s is what you'll encounter. Because of the wisdom that comes with age, this community will seldom be irritating to be around. 

13. Crown Heights

Aka the displaced hipster, these folk were simply pushed out of their original homes by their fellow comrades. Trying making ends meet, meant that they could no longer keep up with the rent once it was time to sign a new lease. Unlike the Bed Stuy hipster, though, their ego remained in place even after their move. Their chill demeanor quickly dissipates when someone foolishly brings up women's rights or race relations.

16. Red Hook

Arguably the most pompous group in Brooklyn, the Red Hook hipsters actually take their choice to be an artist or musician seriously. They willfully sacrifice access to any form of transportation in return for a lovely area devoid of all normal human interaction. But who needs that when you're the next big thing trying to focus on your work? Few will make it, but their dedication to something other than growing a mustache or getting a quirky tattoo sleeve is respectable on many levels.

19. Greenpoint

Yet another case of a hipster running away from the ever soaring rent prices. But do not confuse these hipsters with those of Bed Stuy or Crown Heights. Oh no! These are intelligent planners who prefer not to live paycheck to paycheck (or dad's check to mom's check) and choose to be in an area serviced only by the saddest train lines. But the trade-off seems almost fair when they have an option to transition into a normal adulthood with a decent amount in their savings.  

22. DUMBO

Although this neighborhood is too refined and swanky to be deemed hip anymore, the hipster influences still run strong in the land down under (Manhattan Bridge overpass).  These gallery-hopping, wine-sipping, skinny-panted residents don't have the time to deal with pretending they're on a budget anymore. Instead, they embrace the wonderful arts around them and get their aristocratic groove on. Their apartments will seldom include DIY furniture that should arguably be reserved for the nearest curbside. Plus, nothing can beat having Brooklyn Bridge Park just a few cobble stone covered blocks away from you. Steering a little off the hipster course and pampering yourself a little can work in your favor if it's within your means.

25. Prospect Heights

There's another lucky hipster population to have a park around and it's the Prospect Heights crew. Whether it's jogging in the summer, ice skating in the winter, or simply relaxing with a few friends and a joint to share, parks are nothing more than an adult playground. On top of the year-round fun destination, the neighborhood is now infested with bars for the neighborhood's urban professionals to relax after the park is closed off to anyone not looking to conduct illegal activities. Unfortunately, living here means that a big boy day job is almost an inevitable part of life as there are fewer people here enjoying post-college utopia and are likely another Executive Assistant at a giant corporation.

28. Clinton Hill

Attempting to be too alternative isn't really the name of the game for the Clinton Hill folk. In fact, they are likely abstain from going overboard on their ink or piercings. Instead, they just let their academic record demonstrate how serious they are about philosophy and English. Boasting at least a master's degree in the arts of one kind or another, there's no denying that they are a sharp bunch.  However, this less intelligent choice of the degree they pursued in college reduces them to a sad career in a publishing house they secretly hate or teaching the next generation of underemployed English majors.  

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